Sunday, September 25, 2011

...Come Such a Long Long Way, Still Got A Long Way To Go....

Two days ago i was rather depressed at the fact that i have ocd in my life.  Then yesterday we went on a day-long round trip visiting the dentist, my father-in-law,the ice-cream place, my brother and then back home.  I noticed that for the most part i was ocd-free.  I still thot about it- asking dh if he washed his hands after hitching and unhitching the utility trailer we returned to my brother, making sure noone bumped into the garbage can on the walkway to a sub shop, how to get around a person who looked like he came into the eatery right after he finished fixing the engine on his truck without touching him or the place he touched the door handle and of course without looking like i'm avoiding him like the plague :). 

But all those things were small items.  A pain in the butt, but not enuf to stop going outside my house ( once upon a time, 4 years ago i was ALMOST at the point of staying put inside because EVERYTHING was dirty, potentially making me and my house and clothes dirty, or worse yet I would contaminate everyone/ everything else because i was so contaminated just by living.) 

So it's not everywhere that i have a problem.  It's mostly inside.  The shower, the taps,  the laundry, taking too long to shower or wash my hands.  Then add the possible mice and mold and garbage.  Those 3 are the trouble -makers.  If only i could eliminate them from the world.

I have gotten better; not as good as i'd like.  But i can still live live and enjoy it at least half the time.  Just have to work on the other half... and i have both the time and a counselor who will kick my butt in the right direction.  So as they say in Lewis' The Last Battle:  Onward and Upward!  And that means work, painful work on my part. 

It might not be perfect, but it's MY life.  And it's ok.

NB.  The title came from a line in a song: One More Mountain To Climb by Neil Sedaka

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